(And cliched titles clearly wasn’t one of them)
Generic thought some may sound, these are a few things I learnt this crazy year.
1. Let Go
Apart from an incredible musical contribution, this Frou Frou line is indeed the greatest way to mental peace. Letting go is not the same as forgetting – it is rather accepting what has happened and knowing you have to go through it. Letting go is sadly not a magical momentary process. Much confusion, shock and sadness precedes it – one has to go through a myriad of emotions before immersing the ashes of that dream you once had.
Recognise when things are no more in your control. The more you try to hold on to an idea, a dream or a person the more they all slip. Learn to let go with grace and dignity – drama only entertains the bystanders. Learn that there is some reason somewhere which will reveal itself – even though you sure as hell can’t see it now. Forgive them not for them, for your own peace of mind.
2. Love those who loved you when you were no one
Your parents, your childhood friends, that office buddy who still remains your sounding board after all these years. They loved you then, they will love you now. They have seen minus the layers of stress, zero sleep and terrible mood swings. You aren’t an aftereffect of success or failure for them. Next time shit hits the roof, you can call a 100 for advice but just them for a hug.
3. Recognise your comfort food
What makes you happy? Is it a walk? Is it sleep? Or a cup of chai? Make a list of 10 things which make you happy and keep it handy. Next time when your boss yells, refer to it and do the one convenient
4. Nice people are not always nice in relationships
There is an understanding that for many people, their professional and personal behaviour is different – and this is considered healthy to an extent. However just because he is incredibly sweet and kind and generous is not a guarantee that he will make a good boyfriend. Past baggage, natural temperament and circumstances change the best of us. Next time, don’t date someone just because he is nice all – around. See how good he is with you
5. You do not need people
Pick selected persons and make sure you are always there. Define boundaries with each person you meet. Do not be rigid but draw the line when needed. Just because that cute colleague keeps talking to you, does not put him in best friend category. You do not need people, you need a few good close persons. Cut the clutter, cut the drama, focus on who is important.
6. No one will ever give a shit about you more than yourself
Yup. True. Accept. Act on it. Be selfish. Hug yourself. Fight your own demons. No one will understand you more than yourself. Simply because they are not you.
Write. Take pictures. Shoot stupid videos. Preserve your current self. There is something wonderful about reading your 14-year-old scrawling.
8. Your heart is not a charity
Love demanding love. We are not souls from eternal love stories. Don’t love them if they won’t hold your hand in public. Don’t love them if they don’t include you in their world. If they break your heart, pick up the pieces, button up your dignity and walk away.
Most importantly love the person who takes a stand for you. All every girl wants with love is a man who is proud to have her on his side. Do not settle for anything else. You will give him your all if he does so, so why compromise?
Start with cleaning your room. That drawer with weird knickknacks which you do not recognise anymore. Then pay attention to your body. Eat well, exercise in whatever form – you do not want to be that old woman bed ridden because she didn’t take care of herself and is now dependant on her silly children. Then clean your mind. Instinctively know when your thoughts are rubbish. If you have a lover, immediately think of him. If not think of pending work, always sparks the right kind of fear
10. See the world
Never say no to travel. New experiences brings in new people and new cultures. The adjustment you make with them will help you for the rest of your life.
11. Stop advising unless asked
Everyone is an adult with atleast average intelligence. Sometime we just need someone to hear us and give us a hug and say it will be ok. Spare your opinion and judgement. No one appreciates a judgemental person who forces his thought on people
12. Shut up and work
I learnt this from family. The solution to everything is one – work. Whatever it is, immerse yourself. It has been my greatest healer. An idle mind is a destructive mind. Stay busy, everything else will hurt less
13 Wake Up and Fight
Open your eyes. Wipe away those tears. Go work. Love. Be happy. Be angry. Fight. Take a day at a time. Repeat
2013 for me has been pretty shitty overall but I can say one thing confidently – this is the year I grew up and recognised priorities. Many dreams were shattered. Here’s hoping 2014 brings a new one :)
PS: 14. (Well why not)
Since I was 13 I believe when you are right, you will be taken care off. Till today I do so and I always will. Believe in karma. If you were a dick, you will pay the price eventually. Make sure your conscience stays clear. Don’t wish evil upon others. Mind your actions and someday this strange world will make some sense.